Other Choices

Other Choices

I’ve been busy.
Really, really, busy. I have been, as the kids today would say: ALL THE BUSY.

Looking back it’s been two and a half months since I last blogged. It’s not for lack of things to say, but lack of time that kept me away.

I work.  I am a mother.  I am a wife.  I am a “maniacal crafter”  and I sell my things (shameless plug).
I have friends I like to visit with. I have obligations.  I have places to go and people to see.
I have the occasional headache or ailment.  I have appointments.  I have stress.  I have housework.
You get the idea.
What I am trying to say is:  Life is full.

And so, the other day I was  scrolling through Facebook I saw a meme that left me laughing.  It left me laughing hard and gave me the resolve to dust off the blog .  The meme was from the good people over at Autism Hippie.  I immediately shared it over at Jack’s page.


It was this little gem:

Brilliant!

Brilliant!

Look at that.  No overly sentimental photo.  No cutesy pie pic. No vintage graphic.
Just those amazing words.

You see, special needs parents get this a lot.
HOW do you do it!?!

Do what?
Love our kids? Do what is necessary to see that they are healthy and happy? Make them a priority?
BE A LOVING AND CARING PERSON?

Make no mistake….I am aware that other parents get this.  A friend of mine has a set of triplets.  HE can tell you stories as well!

But I digress.  I am Jackson’s mama. I am Darrah’s mama. That’s some serious committment right there.
What other choice DO I have? When the going gets rough I cannot just up and leave. It’s not like I could pack up and move cross-country on a whim to escape it all.  It’s not like I could move to an ashram to navel gaze and find myself.
No.  That’s just silly.  You just pull on your  big girl panties and greet the day with love, joy, compassion, and a huge cup of coffee. Day after day after day.
You just DO.
There is no other option.
And since that is the case, I say — enjoy the hell out of it.
Enjoy the chaos, the clutter, the messy, and the struggle.
It’s what we are here for.  It’s what life is all about– putting yourself out there and greeting the day with courage no matter what.

You know who taught me that?
Jackson.
Make no mistake, life is not easy for the boy.  He’s got this whole brain tumors/autism/seizure thing going on and yet he gets up day after day with a smile on his face ready to greet the day.
He struggles, he fails.
He struggles, he succeeds.
He goes on no matter what, with joy in his heart.

How does he do it?
I am not sure he is aware that there is any other option.
And neither am I.
Jack and I?
We’re on the same page.

On the same page and on the same pillow, too

On the same page and on the same pillow, too

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Merry day of Lots of people here

A  friend asked me if  Jack was excited about Christmas.

The answer? Nah.
After all,  how does one EXPLAIN Christmas to a child like Jack?

You really can’t.
And really, why SHOULD you?

I can tell you this:
Jack is excited about all the LIGHTS!
I capitalize it because  he joyfully SCREAMS the word.The same goes for the Christmas tree.
I mean how cool is that?!  There is a TREE inside the house!
And that TREE has LIGHTS on it!
Jack refers to it as the TRISTRIS tree.
Our tristris tree is devoid of anything fragile or breakable.  I mean, what with all the lights and such, it is ripe for getting Leggos, straws and blocks thrown at it.
Christmas morning will be just the same for Jack.
He will rise.  He will get his bowl of  cereal and a drink and will sit in the chair watching Spongebob.  He will get his meds in a bowl of goat yogurt and mashed banana.  We will entice him to open presents.  And the best part will be:
RIPPING PAPER!  Sometimes the gift will be cool to him……but mostly its about ripping paper.  🙂

All the festivities will go about and Jack may or may not participate.
He may or may not stop to throw something at the tree.
He will just be Jack amidst all our strange rituals.
He will be.

And he will be loved.

 

Resistance is Futile

The all knowing omnipotent “they” say there are two certain in life:
death and taxes.

I would humbly add to that :
My inability to not be  a clutterbug
andThe constant presence of Lego’s and gears on our floor.

I went to a new friends house the other day.  It was amazing.  Well decorated.  Clean.
And no piles of “things” anywhere to be found.
And no indiscriminate small part toys on the floor or lurking in corners. (I checked!)
There were also no random cheerios or chips pieces anywhere to be found.
No errant threads or fabric scraps lurking about!

You know, what with him being brain damaged and developmentally delayed-I’m gonna’ go ahead and give Jack a pass this go around.  He throws thing for the sheer joy of watching their arc and seeing them spin.

Me?  There is no excuse.  I have an “I’ll just stack it here until I can get to it” mentality.
I am loathe to throw out any piece of fabric, ribbon, or doo-dad that I perceive can be useful in some unforeseen time.

Maybe I should just take a tip from the boy and throw it all away…..

joyfully, with glee, for the sheer joy of letting it go……

hmmmmmmmmm

I’ll get back to you on this.  🙂