Aaaaaaaaand we’re back!

I’ve heard it said that “blogs are crap, and just vanish when the power goes out”.
While this may be true when it comes to blogs about Traci Lords porn, fancy shoes, or the fashion choices of folks in Humboldt County California, I can personally attest to the power of “mommy blogs” and the online support community of special needs parents.

My online voice has been quieted while my family has been going through some legal court stuff that was put in motion to ensure the continuous care of Jackson should something happen to my husband.

Let me get this out there:
I blog for Jackson.  For myself.  And for those that choose to read it and carry away a grain of truth or a modicum of hope.   I believe that I have a unique voice that rings true to some.
I am a PollyAnna purist who can find the light in any darkness.
There has never been any adversity or battle that I could not overcome.
And there have been plenty.
What has kept me afloat in the darkest of times has been the mantra:

Yep all good things must come to an end.  And conversely– so must the bad.

Our legal struggles are not over.

But I am choosing to get back into the habit of tapping on the keyboard and getting out my brand of blogging.
To document the life of a child with a rare genetic disease, a seizure disorder, severe autism, and a glowing soul.  To document the lessons I am taught.  To remind others in the same position that there is joy to be found.  There is beauty in the struggle.
There are monumental life lessons that are there for the taking.

And I am back– with a vengeance– to share them with you.

Stay tuned.
There is so much more to come.

One thought on “Aaaaaaaaand we’re back!

  1. I came across your blog when I typed in “FUCK AUTISM” because right now I’m feeling insanely frustrated, depressed and run down, partly because I haven’t slept for more than a few hours at a time, for nearly 21 years…the length of time my son has been on this earth. It’s his 21st birthday in a few weeks. He never has slept good, sometimes up for 2 days and it’s constant interaction, me doing shit for him. He only needs 2 hours of sleep and then he’s ready to bust balls for 48 hours. Sorry if I’m bitching, I love this guy with all my heart and soul, but I’m so exhausted…it just seems to never end. 260 lbs and over 6 feet tall, his temper tantrums can be brutal and destructive. I recall a lady in the market tell me I shouldn’t let my husband beat my ass…I laughed and told her, naw, it’s not like that at all, it’s actually my son who slapped the shit out of me! (Hand print on cheek) Like it made a difference. I came back to Hawaii because I thought maybe life here would be more mellow for us all…the water is always calming for my son, all my family is here too. I’m not sure if this was a wise decision. I lost my IHSS…that sure helped a lot back in SoCal. SSI is $100 less out here…school programs are sketchy. Marijuana is not legal…I find this funny…it’s everywhere! My child could benefit from this big time. Maybe in lieu of some of his anti psychotics he takes on a daily basis. Tho the munchies could reek havoc on an already big guy. Yeah, Autism robbed my boy from a life he will never know…college, a cool car, a girlfriend, a real job and it seriously breaks my heart when he tells me he wants to get married one day. He points at a googled image of a hot Victorias Secret model. Damn. He can’t even wipe his own ass. Forgive me for venting…your blog felt like a safe place to escape for awhile until my son calmed down. I enjoyed reading about Jack and it’s comforting to know that I’m not alone…even though I feel like we are some kind of enigmas. I love my son, he’s probably the closest person to me and we can yell at one another, cry on each other, laugh like hell or just chill and watch Pulp Fiction for like the 5th time in a day. He just laid down on my bed next to me…finally calming down…I enjoy these moments when he’s not in motion and now he’s you tubing on my phone. His PS2 broke and he doesn’t understand that they don’t sell them anymore. On a lighter note, I want to thank my beautiful labrador/pitbull mix shelter dog Kailani for keeping me grounded…she has been the best therapy!!! As an avid mastiff and boxer rescuer, THIS black stocky “poi dog” is the absolute smartest and most loving buddy I’ve ever adopted. All my wonderful fur babies, present and past have gotten me thru 2 decades of Autism…I’m forever thankful and indebted. Well, maybe I can get a few hours of rest in…thanks for giving me a spot to regurgitate. I still think that maybe Down syndrome would have been easier…

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