Fickle Fickle Fickle.

Jack loves his videos.

Oh, wait….this is 2013 and all.
Jack loves his DVDs.
There is Bear in the Big Blue House.  Various Elmo’s.  Blues Clues.  Wienie and Oswald.  And two very special DVDS: one called Straight Up about helicopters and the other is a DVD of airplanes doing water landings and take offs at a Canadian airport.

The way Jack usually requests a specific disc is to say “Wanna watch Elmo!? OK!! I getta Elmo”

So you go into his room.  Turn on the tv and the DVD player.  The DVD player takes a little while to warm up.  Then you pop out the LAST DVD.  Usually at this time Jack is settling down on the couch and shouting “Ok! I getta Elmo! YES YES ELMO!”.   And to keep him calm you say that back to him so that he knows, yes, indeed, you ARE going to produce Elmo at any moment.  So you get the right disc in, fast forward through the five minutes of promos and get it started.  oh, YES! It MUST be watched from the very beginning.

Except… of late….that is NOT the way it has been going.
Jack has been, shall we say? FICKLE.

He shouts “Bear! wanna watch BEAR!!”
And I go into the room, and say, “Yes, Bear, Tina gets Bear”
And go through the motions and get it all cued up, hit play, go to leave the room and…….
“Elmo?! YES ELMO!OK!!  I getta ELMO!”

OK….so back in I go…..”Yes, Elmo”
As I am shuffling discs….
“Blue? Yes YES Blue OK! OK! OK!! I getta Blue”

At this point I am halfway between discs and turn to Jack:
” Want to watch Blue? or Elmo?”
Jack:  “Elmo”
“Elmo or Blue”?
(because sometimes he will just repeat the last one named)
Jack: “Elmo”

So once again……back to it.
I leave the room, sit back down at the computer and I hear:

*head desk*

And so it goes…..
But can I really get too mad about this?
A few years ago Jack did not have the language or cognitive ability to make these requests.
Now? He can talk.  He makes decisions about what he wants to watch.
He has learned the power of language!!
I guess I can’t complain too much– just another day of living in the Jack lane.  😉

Not now, honey, mommy’s busy…..NOT!

Of the many hats I wear…”sewing teacher” is one that I occasionally don.
Yesterday I gave a lesson in cleaning up your sewing machine (basic tension, adjustments, etc) and pillow enveloping to Jack’s one on one aid.
She is a peach of a woman that has been with Jack for years.
She is a woman who delights in Jack and Jack feels pretty much the same about her.
He says her name with warmth and a wistful smile.

So, just imagine Jack’s surprise yesterday when she showed up at our home…..
He was beside himself with joy and delight.
She sat down and he immediately wanted to show her things….DISHWASHER!! DIANE!! DISHWASHER!!
Then he came up behind her with his beloved (and rather stinky) Giants Baseball cap: HAT! ON THE HEAD! DIANE!! HAT!

His voice was nothing but shrieks of joy.

He was giggling.  He was beaming.  He was happy.  He was chatty.

All while she was here, he was a little bumble bee in flight, coming up behind her to tell her things, to show her things, to just smile at her.
Believe it or not…….we DID get things done.


I think about what our reaction would be if Jack was a “typical”?
Run along…… we need to get this done.  Don’t be a pest dear, we need to work on the machine, etc etc.
But this is Jack.  And these communications, interactions, and moments are important.  And special.

So they are encouraged.  They are savored.  And they are applauded……

I think back to when my daughter was younger….I was guilty of the “run along dear”.
Now…..Not so much.

I try on a daily basis to connect to her.  To SEE her.  To learn from her and to teach her.

Come to think of it.
I’d like to do that with everyone I meet.  🙂

My Funny Valentine

My funny valentine
Sweet comic valentine
You make me smile with my heart

That’s Jack.

Just when I am about to lose my shit  mind because I have been picking up Leggos, shoes, and fuzz for well over an hour and can’t seem to make a headway in normal household chores because I have to untangle a slinky from the ceiling fan while fetching another bowl of “chips, YES! chips” and the demands to find a specific toy ………. AIEEEEEEEEE!
He will do something so intensely adorable I am floored.
He will become so incredibly PRESENT I have to stop and be in the moment with him so I can take full advantage of this open window to learn, to teach, to BE THERE.
He will repeat something– a song, a snippet of conversation, a commercial, a sound– and I will be astounded at the process that it took to go in one of Jack’s ear– ramble around for who knows how long– then come out his mouth.

I have these moments with Jack–
And I love them.
They pull me up short.  They take me by surprise.

They delight me.  They humble me.

They remind me what I am here for.
They remind me to be grateful for this time of (knock wood ) no seizures, good health, and happiness.
They are the smiles of my heart.

While I have never been fond of Valentines Day as a holiday, for Jackson, I will make an exception.
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